Animal Magnetism

So even an alpha wolf like me can sometimes forget himself in the middle of this sickeningly soft society with all this media trying to inundate us with "sensitivity" and "manners" and all those stupid beta constructs. That's why we need to constantly remind ourselves that we aren't mama's boys in sailor suits following whatever rules the pansy gayocracy sees fit to decree that day. We're animals, and we have animal instincts, and we're the only ones with balls enough to let them out and be ourselves, and that's why society's afraid of us.

Here's an example from just the other day. I was in the mall, just there to scout out the tasty wealth of man meat, and after I had finished rejecting a whole bunch of dumb bitches that I tried to pick up at the food court, I realized that my Orange Julius might have been a little off and I rushed off looking for the nearest bathroom.

Well, the one in the food court was labeled as "out of order" so I had to run all the way down to the west end of the mall, and finally found another men's room, but there was a guy in one of the stalls, and the other stall had a mess in the toilet, and the third stall was all wet on the floor, so I yelled at the guy to get out, and he said "fuck you," and I could tell from his deep voice that he was some kind of beta that wouldn't be worth picking a fight with because it would just be a waste to get my hands dirty with his blood, so I ran off for the last bathroom at the other end of the mall.

I thought I was going to explode before I got there, but somehow I made it, and wouldn't you know it, there was a long line. It was the movie theatre side of the mall, so there was this big old line going out the men's room and an even longer line coming out of the women's room. I got in the line but I knew I'd never make it in time.

Then it hit me. All this running around was just me being a slave to society's stupid arbitrary rules, playing along with its attempts to maintain the veneer of civilization over our natural selves. Would a bear wait meekly in line? Would an eagle? Or an alpha wolf? No!

I pulled down my pants right there and let it out right on the floor. When I looked up, every eye was on me, every person in the crowd speechless, eyes wide open and noses pinched in silent awe. There was no need to say a word. They knew who was the alpha.