So I bet you've been seeing a lot of news these days about how the economy is down and if you're like me, the first thing you think when you see doomsday news about foreclosures and job loss is, how does this new economic paradigm impact my ability to score chicks?
Well, not too badly, my friends. There are a number of ways a clever alpha male can play this to his advantage. For example, it's a lot easier to get out of paying for things. My old standby, "I would buy you another drink, but they are very expensive and you don't seem worth that much, I mean it's almost ten bucks," was pretty effective, natch, but with this new economy, I started using, "I would buy you another drink, but, you know... the economy," and that actually worked even better.
My guess is that the chicks love it when you work current events into the conversation because it makes you sound smart and relevant and all that bullshit. I guess some current events work better than others because I tried, "I would buy you another drink, but, you know, Obama just got elected," and the chick slapped me and I couldn't put up with that kind of insubordination, so I had to reject her by letting her turn around and walk out and drive off so I had to find a taxi.
I think black chicks are just really temperamental. It's that hot Latin blood.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not a racist or anything. I'm just so sick of black people sneaking across the border into this country and taking our jobs and opening a taco shop on every corner. And they get so emotional, always firing their pistols in the air and dancing around their sombreros.
And I'm sick of the PC attitude in our country that won't even let honest Americans discuss these issues. Every time I want to talk about my opinions on race and black people, these PC hippies keep telling me that they're called "Mexican-Americans." These dumbass language policemen can't even be bothered to listen the points I'm making, they're so hung up on using the politically correct term.
I mean, you can't just pretend race doesn't exist. Maybe you can when you're a stupid beta PC hippie vegetarian that wouldn't hook up with a chick in a million years but when you're out there banging a broad a day, you got to be able to sum up the goods at a glance. You can't be pretending a Japanese chick is the same as an English chick, or else you'll get back to your place and find out your junk isn't the proper shape for her parts, and that's a wasted evening.
So yeah, just last night I was at the bar, with all the chicks throwing themselves at me, and I had to turn so many down. There was a couple of Hispanic chicks that were pretty hot, but you know how it is with those South American types, burning their weird ass Buddhist incense and making you take off your shoes in the house, so I had to coolly blow them off by asking them to throw their drinks in my face and leave with other guys.
Then there was some Asian chick that was pretty hot for me, and was responding really well to my negs. I was really tempted, but then I remembered how snooty Asians are, and how she'd probably make me buy her all this expensive wine and cheese. Besides, I didn't know any Asian except "bonjour" and "merci" and "hors d'ouvre" and none of that is negative enough to keep the magic going.
Anyway, it went on like that all night. It's always like this. There's fifty women virtually throwing themselves at me and I have to send them away because they're not a good fit for me racially. Again, don't get me wrong, I totally understand that all races are equal, it's just that some of them are worse than others. If I just state a simple truth, like that Germans are worse than Koreans, does that make me a racist?
The ironic part is that people who call me a racist are pretty ignorant themselves, assuming I'm some kind of white guy with no experience of different cultures. First of all, some of my best friends are cultural. Really cultural. I think one of them is from Hindu or something, he even has a turbine. Secondly, I've got a pretty multicultural background myself. I'm like some kind of crazy mutt. I'm part English, Scottish, Irish, Dutch, Norwegian, and I think even a little Welsh.
So yeah, for those who can't be objective and scientific about races, they can go sit in their little drum circles and whine about it. For those of you who want this valuable information, here's a chart of the races from best to worst.
1. English-Scottish-Irish-Dutch-Norwegian-Welsh (mix)
2. English
3. Scottish
4. Irish
5. Norwegian
6. Dutch
7. Welsh
8. Hindu
9. telepaths
10. Korean
11. black
12. Hispanic
13. Asian
14. androids
15. German
16. Canadian
Monday, August 24, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Animal Magnetism
So even an alpha wolf like me can sometimes forget himself in the middle of this sickeningly soft society with all this media trying to inundate us with "sensitivity" and "manners" and all those stupid beta constructs. That's why we need to constantly remind ourselves that we aren't mama's boys in sailor suits following whatever rules the pansy gayocracy sees fit to decree that day. We're animals, and we have animal instincts, and we're the only ones with balls enough to let them out and be ourselves, and that's why society's afraid of us.
Here's an example from just the other day. I was in the mall, just there to scout out the tasty wealth of man meat, and after I had finished rejecting a whole bunch of dumb bitches that I tried to pick up at the food court, I realized that my Orange Julius might have been a little off and I rushed off looking for the nearest bathroom.
Well, the one in the food court was labeled as "out of order" so I had to run all the way down to the west end of the mall, and finally found another men's room, but there was a guy in one of the stalls, and the other stall had a mess in the toilet, and the third stall was all wet on the floor, so I yelled at the guy to get out, and he said "fuck you," and I could tell from his deep voice that he was some kind of beta that wouldn't be worth picking a fight with because it would just be a waste to get my hands dirty with his blood, so I ran off for the last bathroom at the other end of the mall.
I thought I was going to explode before I got there, but somehow I made it, and wouldn't you know it, there was a long line. It was the movie theatre side of the mall, so there was this big old line going out the men's room and an even longer line coming out of the women's room. I got in the line but I knew I'd never make it in time.
Then it hit me. All this running around was just me being a slave to society's stupid arbitrary rules, playing along with its attempts to maintain the veneer of civilization over our natural selves. Would a bear wait meekly in line? Would an eagle? Or an alpha wolf? No!
I pulled down my pants right there and let it out right on the floor. When I looked up, every eye was on me, every person in the crowd speechless, eyes wide open and noses pinched in silent awe. There was no need to say a word. They knew who was the alpha.
Here's an example from just the other day. I was in the mall, just there to scout out the tasty wealth of man meat, and after I had finished rejecting a whole bunch of dumb bitches that I tried to pick up at the food court, I realized that my Orange Julius might have been a little off and I rushed off looking for the nearest bathroom.
Well, the one in the food court was labeled as "out of order" so I had to run all the way down to the west end of the mall, and finally found another men's room, but there was a guy in one of the stalls, and the other stall had a mess in the toilet, and the third stall was all wet on the floor, so I yelled at the guy to get out, and he said "fuck you," and I could tell from his deep voice that he was some kind of beta that wouldn't be worth picking a fight with because it would just be a waste to get my hands dirty with his blood, so I ran off for the last bathroom at the other end of the mall.
I thought I was going to explode before I got there, but somehow I made it, and wouldn't you know it, there was a long line. It was the movie theatre side of the mall, so there was this big old line going out the men's room and an even longer line coming out of the women's room. I got in the line but I knew I'd never make it in time.
Then it hit me. All this running around was just me being a slave to society's stupid arbitrary rules, playing along with its attempts to maintain the veneer of civilization over our natural selves. Would a bear wait meekly in line? Would an eagle? Or an alpha wolf? No!
I pulled down my pants right there and let it out right on the floor. When I looked up, every eye was on me, every person in the crowd speechless, eyes wide open and noses pinched in silent awe. There was no need to say a word. They knew who was the alpha.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Rating the MMs
The first step toward getting the babes to come to you is to pretend like you don't talk about them. You are above them and their stupid manipulative whining demands for conversation and intimacy, and you need to make them feel like they're lucky if they can get you to spare a second of your time thinking about them.
That's why we need to immerse ourselves in coming up with a complex system of code words and rating systems describing girls of all kinds. Constantly study girls every chance you get and constantly assess them and compare their good and bad traits and their tactics of manipulation, making spreadsheets if necessary to organize your research. Based on this, try to extrapolate a system and terminology that covers all girls in all situations.
When you are ready, you can use all this to show girls how much you don't care about them.
I'll give you a brief rundown on my rating process to get you started, using a few different girls as examples.
I don't like to let the girls know I'm talking about them when I'm talking about them, so I use a lot of code words. You might think it's enough to say "babe" instead of saying "girl" but for some reason they figured it out, probably spies. So we have to be sneakier. Here's my reasoning: We top males need to think of ourselves as predators on the hunt for prey. We're not namby-pamby sissies looking for a "talk" or a "hug", we are raw animal power on the hunt for fresh meat. But not actual meat, you know, because we are men, not actual lions or whatever. So I call the girls "man meat" or "MM" for short.
So enough chatter, let's talk about how I look for delicious man meat.
All right, let's take this chick. What do we know about her? "It's just a photo!" you might say. "You can't tell much from that." WRONG. I can tell everything about a girl just by looking at a picture. Everything's right on the surface, and a man who really understands our animal instincts can read it like a book.
So the first thing I can tell is that she's wild and crazy in bed. Some kind of hippy flower child. I can tell that by looking at her eyes. She'll do anything if you push the right buttons. Rrrrrrawr. On the MM scale, I'd have to say she's a 10. So when I'm at a bar with my buddies, I don't have to give myself away by saying, "Hot babe over there," or "That is a good target for sex," or by having an erection and pointing, all of which could ruin my chances. I just say, smoothly and casually, "MM 10 over there."
Now let's take a look at this MM here. Completely different story.
She is an ice queen. She probably hasn't even done it twice in her life. She's pretty hot but you probably wouldn't get a lot out of her because you'd have to drug her first and then it really wouldn't be a lot different than boning the blow-up doll in my basement. I mean, your basement. Anyway, we'll call her an MM 9.
Now this lady is more like it. Look at the way her pupils are on the right.
It's a scientific fact that women born with pupils on the right side of their eyes are extremely adventurous in bed. She's going to be shy at first, but it won't be hard to badger her into things with guilt trips and maybe some beatings. MM 10.
YUCK! Look at this hideous beast. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something masculine about her.
Hell, she might even be a man. I was going to say, maybe some new clothes and makeup, and maybe she'd be all right for some retarded beta, but hell, I don't even know if that's going to help. Anyway, I can tell all this from the eyes. She has the manliest, ugliest eyes. MM 0!
Hubba hubba! Look at this piece of meat.
Well, she is pretty hot all right, but the clever observer can tell from the settings and the costume that this photo was probably taken in a medieval era, and so she is probably dead by now. Now, there is nothing wrong with boning a dead chick, but the Middle Ages was a really long time ago so she's probably mostly a skeleton by now, and that's really not a very comfortable lay, or so I heard or read in a scientific study or something. Let's go with MM 3.
Hahaha! Get a load of this one.
This girl is obviously so hideous she's trying to hide it under loads and loads of makeup, and maybe some poor sucker of a beta will fall for it, but a sharp eyed meat-hunter like me can see it pretty clearly. She even screwed up her lipstick (see if you can spot the smudge). You might think that she could be a hot babe who's just wearing too much makeup because she's a slave to the fashion-industrial complex but all you have to do is take one look at her eyes, and you can see it all. Self-loathing, shy, stupid, useless cow. Even if she got rid of all that stupid hair and makeup and got plastic surgery, she'd never come close to those MM 10s up above. MM 1.
Oh, and in case you are wondering how I got all these pictures, I snapped them on my cell phone while I was boning them. All except for the MM 0, I got that from my loser friend's cell phone.
Anyway, I hope this gets you guys started on your hunt for man meat. Just be careful! Once you get started, you can never get enough! Heh heh heh! Am I right or am I right, guys.
That's why we need to immerse ourselves in coming up with a complex system of code words and rating systems describing girls of all kinds. Constantly study girls every chance you get and constantly assess them and compare their good and bad traits and their tactics of manipulation, making spreadsheets if necessary to organize your research. Based on this, try to extrapolate a system and terminology that covers all girls in all situations.
When you are ready, you can use all this to show girls how much you don't care about them.
I'll give you a brief rundown on my rating process to get you started, using a few different girls as examples.
I don't like to let the girls know I'm talking about them when I'm talking about them, so I use a lot of code words. You might think it's enough to say "babe" instead of saying "girl" but for some reason they figured it out, probably spies. So we have to be sneakier. Here's my reasoning: We top males need to think of ourselves as predators on the hunt for prey. We're not namby-pamby sissies looking for a "talk" or a "hug", we are raw animal power on the hunt for fresh meat. But not actual meat, you know, because we are men, not actual lions or whatever. So I call the girls "man meat" or "MM" for short.
So enough chatter, let's talk about how I look for delicious man meat.
All right, let's take this chick. What do we know about her? "It's just a photo!" you might say. "You can't tell much from that." WRONG. I can tell everything about a girl just by looking at a picture. Everything's right on the surface, and a man who really understands our animal instincts can read it like a book.
So the first thing I can tell is that she's wild and crazy in bed. Some kind of hippy flower child. I can tell that by looking at her eyes. She'll do anything if you push the right buttons. Rrrrrrawr. On the MM scale, I'd have to say she's a 10. So when I'm at a bar with my buddies, I don't have to give myself away by saying, "Hot babe over there," or "That is a good target for sex," or by having an erection and pointing, all of which could ruin my chances. I just say, smoothly and casually, "MM 10 over there."
Now let's take a look at this MM here. Completely different story.
She is an ice queen. She probably hasn't even done it twice in her life. She's pretty hot but you probably wouldn't get a lot out of her because you'd have to drug her first and then it really wouldn't be a lot different than boning the blow-up doll in my basement. I mean, your basement. Anyway, we'll call her an MM 9.
Now this lady is more like it. Look at the way her pupils are on the right.
It's a scientific fact that women born with pupils on the right side of their eyes are extremely adventurous in bed. She's going to be shy at first, but it won't be hard to badger her into things with guilt trips and maybe some beatings. MM 10.
YUCK! Look at this hideous beast. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something masculine about her.
Hell, she might even be a man. I was going to say, maybe some new clothes and makeup, and maybe she'd be all right for some retarded beta, but hell, I don't even know if that's going to help. Anyway, I can tell all this from the eyes. She has the manliest, ugliest eyes. MM 0!
Hubba hubba! Look at this piece of meat.
Well, she is pretty hot all right, but the clever observer can tell from the settings and the costume that this photo was probably taken in a medieval era, and so she is probably dead by now. Now, there is nothing wrong with boning a dead chick, but the Middle Ages was a really long time ago so she's probably mostly a skeleton by now, and that's really not a very comfortable lay, or so I heard or read in a scientific study or something. Let's go with MM 3.Hahaha! Get a load of this one.
This girl is obviously so hideous she's trying to hide it under loads and loads of makeup, and maybe some poor sucker of a beta will fall for it, but a sharp eyed meat-hunter like me can see it pretty clearly. She even screwed up her lipstick (see if you can spot the smudge). You might think that she could be a hot babe who's just wearing too much makeup because she's a slave to the fashion-industrial complex but all you have to do is take one look at her eyes, and you can see it all. Self-loathing, shy, stupid, useless cow. Even if she got rid of all that stupid hair and makeup and got plastic surgery, she'd never come close to those MM 10s up above. MM 1.
Oh, and in case you are wondering how I got all these pictures, I snapped them on my cell phone while I was boning them. All except for the MM 0, I got that from my loser friend's cell phone.
Anyway, I hope this gets you guys started on your hunt for man meat. Just be careful! Once you get started, you can never get enough! Heh heh heh! Am I right or am I right, guys.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My "Game" Credentials
Now at this point, you might be asking yourself, "Who is this Chad guy, and why should I trust his advice in cajoling women into sex who don't want to have sex with me?"
Well, that is a valid question, my friend. Let me assure you, my credentials in the "game" are quite sound. I am an intelligent person, with a degree in English, who studied philosophy directly from Socrates.
(I read a book about a conversation he had, but it was like he was talking directly to me.)
(Well, I read the Cliff's Notes but I think it was pretty accurate.)
Also, I personally have lured just over 200 ladies into my sticky web of seduction. Don't believe me? I'll prove it with a story.
Just last week, as I was flying through Dallas on a business trip, I met a Cowboys cheerleader at the airport bar. I told her I hated the Cowboys and I was glad that their practice canopy had collapsed and injured a bunch of people and paralyzed one guy from the waist down. Long story short, we were soon back at my beach house (we were in Hawaii) with the rest of her Swedish bikini teammates, making lots of noise, if you know what I mean. All in a day's work for a pickup artist who's bedded over 500 girls.
It's not magic or mumbo-jumbo, it's just scientific fact, and a simple application of human psychology. Women are pretty simple. Once you work out what buttons to push, they'll do anything you say. Skeptical? Why don't you ask any of the 800 girls I've boned?
I've had a go with every kind of woman you've ever fantasized about - whether it be Playboy bunny, supermodel, pornstar, hot librarian that only looks ugly because she has glasses on, naughty nurse, French maid, Amazon warrior princess, or anime schoogirl character. Would I tell you I had sex with them if I hadn't? Of course not. What reason would there be to lie? Of course these types just form a small fraction of the 1200-woman stable I've acquired in the course of my life. I've had my share of regular club girls as well. I'm a generous man.
I think I've made my case clear. If you want to get into the model-a-day lifestyle, stop wasting time reading wishy-washy Oprah-style "relationship advice" and start listening to the guy that's nailed over 5000 women.
Well, that is a valid question, my friend. Let me assure you, my credentials in the "game" are quite sound. I am an intelligent person, with a degree in English, who studied philosophy directly from Socrates.
(I read a book about a conversation he had, but it was like he was talking directly to me.)
(Well, I read the Cliff's Notes but I think it was pretty accurate.)
Also, I personally have lured just over 200 ladies into my sticky web of seduction. Don't believe me? I'll prove it with a story.
Just last week, as I was flying through Dallas on a business trip, I met a Cowboys cheerleader at the airport bar. I told her I hated the Cowboys and I was glad that their practice canopy had collapsed and injured a bunch of people and paralyzed one guy from the waist down. Long story short, we were soon back at my beach house (we were in Hawaii) with the rest of her Swedish bikini teammates, making lots of noise, if you know what I mean. All in a day's work for a pickup artist who's bedded over 500 girls.
It's not magic or mumbo-jumbo, it's just scientific fact, and a simple application of human psychology. Women are pretty simple. Once you work out what buttons to push, they'll do anything you say. Skeptical? Why don't you ask any of the 800 girls I've boned?
I've had a go with every kind of woman you've ever fantasized about - whether it be Playboy bunny, supermodel, pornstar, hot librarian that only looks ugly because she has glasses on, naughty nurse, French maid, Amazon warrior princess, or anime schoogirl character. Would I tell you I had sex with them if I hadn't? Of course not. What reason would there be to lie? Of course these types just form a small fraction of the 1200-woman stable I've acquired in the course of my life. I've had my share of regular club girls as well. I'm a generous man.
I think I've made my case clear. If you want to get into the model-a-day lifestyle, stop wasting time reading wishy-washy Oprah-style "relationship advice" and start listening to the guy that's nailed over 5000 women.
I am The Chick Whisperer
Greetings, fellow alphas. If you are reading this blog, you are probably a proactive go-getter alpha male looking to further expand your toolset for drawing the inferior sex into your hypnotic thrall.
If you are not afraid of stepping into the Matrix (as I like to put it) and embracing the raw god-like power of one who has mastered all knowledge of human instincts, then come on in! Let us seduce chicks together and share our stories of conquest.
Now, I know there are haters and doubters out there, and I'm willing to logically answer all your objections.
First, a lot of people are under the illusion that it's possible to have an "honest" and "consensual" relationship where people just "like" each other and "want" to be together. Ha! What kind of world are you living in, Pollyanna? Let me tell you a couple of stories that will shatter this naive fantasy of yours.
When I was 16, I asked Nancy Weinberg to the prom, and she said she would think about it. She never got back to me. Later I found out she went with Eddie Chiu, the student body president. I learned two things from this incident - that all women are lying, cheating bitches that only want to hurt you if you're not fast enough to hurt them first, and that Asians are all out to get you. When people point out that Nancy Weinberg is only one person, I tell them that she's more like two people because she's really fat now. BURN. She's not actually really fat, I think she's an aerobics instructor, but then the burn wouldn't make any sense, so I think I deserve some creative license.
The second story I have is about my friend Josh. When he was 14, his parents got divorced, and he had to go move to LA with his dad. So ha! There's your proof that monogamous "equal" relationships never work. When people try to pretend they work, then your best friend in the whole world moves away to LA and it's not fair.
That was the worst summer because I ended up having nothing to do and my parents wouldn't even buy me a Super Nintendo because I had to "earn it", but I showed them now because even though I'm rich and successful I don't get them any presents ever, even for their 25th anniversary last year.
Anyway, I digress. My point was that monogamy doesn't work.
Once I came to realize the basic truths of life, I started studying humans as animals. Because that's all we are. Animals that wear clothes. I started realizing that we can extrapolate from male success in the animal kingdom and apply it to our own mating attempts.
For example, I realized that the a large part of why I wasn't being inundated with women was that they didn't realize I was there. Sometimes I would say hi to a female coworker I had been working with for a year and they would say, "Are you new here?" Then I realized that in the wild, animals mark their territory, and that's how they keep other animals (especiall females) aware of them. So I started peeing all over the office. NOW when all the chicks see me, they say, "Oh, it's that guy that pees all over the place," and kind of cower away, obviously submitting to my dominance.
Anyway, more later, but congratulations for taking the first step and embracing your animal nature. I'll have plenty of insights and cheat codes about how to win at women next time. (In the pick-up artist community, I believe we call them "hax". My fans seem to use that term a lot, anyway.)
If you are not afraid of stepping into the Matrix (as I like to put it) and embracing the raw god-like power of one who has mastered all knowledge of human instincts, then come on in! Let us seduce chicks together and share our stories of conquest.
Now, I know there are haters and doubters out there, and I'm willing to logically answer all your objections.
First, a lot of people are under the illusion that it's possible to have an "honest" and "consensual" relationship where people just "like" each other and "want" to be together. Ha! What kind of world are you living in, Pollyanna? Let me tell you a couple of stories that will shatter this naive fantasy of yours.
When I was 16, I asked Nancy Weinberg to the prom, and she said she would think about it. She never got back to me. Later I found out she went with Eddie Chiu, the student body president. I learned two things from this incident - that all women are lying, cheating bitches that only want to hurt you if you're not fast enough to hurt them first, and that Asians are all out to get you. When people point out that Nancy Weinberg is only one person, I tell them that she's more like two people because she's really fat now. BURN. She's not actually really fat, I think she's an aerobics instructor, but then the burn wouldn't make any sense, so I think I deserve some creative license.
The second story I have is about my friend Josh. When he was 14, his parents got divorced, and he had to go move to LA with his dad. So ha! There's your proof that monogamous "equal" relationships never work. When people try to pretend they work, then your best friend in the whole world moves away to LA and it's not fair.
That was the worst summer because I ended up having nothing to do and my parents wouldn't even buy me a Super Nintendo because I had to "earn it", but I showed them now because even though I'm rich and successful I don't get them any presents ever, even for their 25th anniversary last year.
Anyway, I digress. My point was that monogamy doesn't work.
Once I came to realize the basic truths of life, I started studying humans as animals. Because that's all we are. Animals that wear clothes. I started realizing that we can extrapolate from male success in the animal kingdom and apply it to our own mating attempts.
For example, I realized that the a large part of why I wasn't being inundated with women was that they didn't realize I was there. Sometimes I would say hi to a female coworker I had been working with for a year and they would say, "Are you new here?" Then I realized that in the wild, animals mark their territory, and that's how they keep other animals (especiall females) aware of them. So I started peeing all over the office. NOW when all the chicks see me, they say, "Oh, it's that guy that pees all over the place," and kind of cower away, obviously submitting to my dominance.
Anyway, more later, but congratulations for taking the first step and embracing your animal nature. I'll have plenty of insights and cheat codes about how to win at women next time. (In the pick-up artist community, I believe we call them "hax". My fans seem to use that term a lot, anyway.)
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